Podcast episode 7: Men in therapy, with Angela Caldwell

Psychotherapy Notes podcastThe overwhelming majority of therapists are women. So are most clients. Men are often reluctant to attend therapy voluntarily. As we discussed in the last episode, even well-intentioned therapists and counselors can make men feel unwelcome simply by how they frame men’s presence in the room. Sometimes, changing how you work to better respond to men’s needs and expectations of therapy can make the process a lot more effective.

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Your first clients: How to feel more at ease

Tyra ButlerMy first six months of seeing clients while in graduate school felt pretty crazy, though at the time I didn’t realize how crazy. When we are on a significant growth trajectory and learning curve, it’s challenging to see through the fog of all the factors involved in adjusting to becoming a therapist. It seems whenever we are in an important and difficult phase of life — potentially transformational — it’s hard to see what growth is actually occurring.

Looking back on those first six months of clinical work has taught me some valuable lessons. When I was seeing my first clients, I wish I had known how to intentionally let go of the pressure I felt to make something happen or employ technique.

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“I’m just an MFT student”

Brodie Vissers / Burst / Used under licenseLanguage fascinates me. As therapists, we use language to reframe situations, craft metaphors, and ultimately instill feelings of hope. We recognize how powerful this tool is, so we carefully select our words when in sessions with clients. If only we did the same outside of sessions.

I love speaking with associates, trainees, and students at various events and settings. I’ve heard about the highs and lows of the journey to licensure, the successes and struggles, the hopeful and (seemingly) hopeless situations. One of the statements that always gets to me is “I’m just a(n) ___” (student, trainee, associate).

“Just.” As in “simply,” “only,” “no more than.” Imagine how quickly you would point out the use of this word to a client, drawing their attention to the potential consequences of viewing themselves in a negative light. Unfortunately, we’re not always good at catching ourselves when we do this.

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